The Write Perspective

The name’s Vexing- Vexing Fly. I hail from Gold Creek, MT and will continue to live out my days in this beautiful place.

I was born on September 29, 2023 and have lived to the age of 10(days). In my childhood and youth I spent most of my time outdoors, eating trash, feces and other delectables.

I landed my first job just yesterday.

It’s a marvelous opportunity and I beat out several other applicants with my unique and powerful skills. My first day started out slowly.. Carole, the resident whose life I am to torment, was gone for most of it so I spent my free time perfecting my craft- I dodged imaginary kill shots and swooped, dove and buzzed to my evil little heart’s content. 

The target arrived in her quarters at approximately 9:30 P.M.. I went into hiding and let her prepare for bed in peace. She was lying in bed and had just opened a book to read for a bit and I knew it was time! I cleared my throat, straightened my wings and went in like a flash. I zipped past her left ear, using my loudest possible voice. She swiped at her ear. I dove by the other side of her head, this time landing for a fraction of a second then darted away. For the next few minutes I droned around the room, singing my own praises- “Thereszzzzzzzzzz no way anyone can sleep when I’m on the job!! Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. No one can buzzzzzzzzzz like this stud! Zzzzzz.” Feeling quite puffed up I prepared for another attack on the enemy but to my dismay I found her asleep. 

All my confidence shattered I curled up in a ball, questioning my purpose in life. “If I can’t disrupt humans’ lives and sanity by buzzing endlessly, what am I even here for?” I remembered the ominous words uttered by a mentor – “If their lives can continue normally you are a complete failure!” 

We heard stories of our ancestors, so proficient they got the man of the household (Tim Sommers) to spend the entirety of his time at home stalking about with the flyswatter held aloft. 

These were legends. 

Feeling completely useless and inadequate, I cried myself to sleep. 

I awoke the next morning with renewed vigor. “Tonight!” I thought, “Tonight will be the night when I reach peak annoyance!”

Go time came at 10:16 P.M.. I outdid myself: buzzing, flying, sitting on the target’s face, neck, and arms, then fleeing the split second before her book pounded the place I just vacated. I learned after the first time she slammed the book onto her head in pursuit of yours truly, she was less likely to take swings while I rested on her hair.

I got to her though. She jumped and hissed, “I WILL kill this _______ ____ fly!”

“Actually the name’s ‘Vexing,’” I told her as I landed lightly on her neck. 

More colorful expressions followed. The target had a look of determination in her face that forced me into hiding for several minutes while she tiptoed about the room, book held aloft. Watching from my safe house I laughed manically. My life’s work was not in vain.

The next 20 minutes were exhilarating; the target rushed about, diving, flailing, panting,and swearing. 

I buzzed, zipped, scampered, swooped, and sped out of danger time and time again.

Becoming cocky, I waited longer and longer to dodge away from her blows when *BAM* she knocked me out. 

I came too quickly and flew off before her second shot descended but I noticed I was moving more slowly. Weary, I landed on the dresser for a quick rest. My vision blurred. “Uh oh.” I thought.

Everything went black.