The Write Perspective

{I have not yet cracked the code on how to teach school and write at the same time. So here’s a story from the archives.}

In March, 2024, we went on a girls trip. The trip included Shari, Shana, Judy, Juli, Rebekah, Liam, age 1, Nikki, 10 months, and myself. Six girls alone are not generally the most calm group you can think of; add 2 young children and things get interesting real fast. Especially when it comes to dining out.

    Most of us arrived Thursday evening, but Judy and Liam flew in on Friday. We picked them up at the airport around lunchtime and found a Mexican restaurant by the name of El Marvin. It was located in downtown Sarasota and we had to park our attractive mini-van in a parking garage and walk a short distance to the restaurant. 

    El Marvin was an intriguing place. Two large, open windows and an open front door allowed sunshine, fresh air, and hungry birds to enter.

    No one else was seated inside so we had the place to ourselves. A hostess and a waiter saw to our needs.

    The actual eating experience went suprisingly well. At least, as well as it can go with two babies flinging chips. 

    When we began to think of leaving, Shana looked around nervously. “Hey, who has the keys?” 

     “You drove, don’t you have them?” asked Shari. 

    Shana shook her head and circled the table several times, not unlike a shark circling its prey. (As it turned out, we likely had much more in common with the prey than the shark.) She then left to search the bathroom and surrounding area. 

    The waiter returned to check on us and we told him we were ready for the bills. 

   Shana returned from her search empty-handed. As she passed the hostess she asked, “Have you seen any keys?” 

    “Keys? Yes I saw keys!” She exchanged Spanish words with the waiter then returned. “Where did you say you lost them?” 

    “I think maybe in the bathroom.” Shana replied. 

    “Then no, no keys. Sorry.” the hostess left.  

    Shana paled and Bekah offered a suggestion, “Let’s walk back to the minivan and see if you dropped them as we were walking here.”

    They left the restaurant, leaving their wallets so we could pay their bills. At this point, Liam was tired of sitting and rushed off to the kitchen, Judy trailing. 

    I was holding Nikki who was bored as well so I stood up and walked around with her. As I looked at our deserted table, inhabited only by Shari and Juli, I had a feeling that things were unraveling and I could do nothing to stop it. 

    The waiter returned to the table where Juli and Shari sat manning the six different wallets. I watched him neatly place each bill next to the empty setting. It was sadly beautiful. Someone attempting to restore order before chaos. The calm before the storm. 

    Shari came behind him snatching up the little folders, shuffling wallets and credit cards and handing them back to him. The waiter had accidentally charged an extra $20 on Bekah’s bill so Shari explained this to him, as well as informing him that one card will pay for the two bills she sacked on top of each other. He took in all this information with a deer in the headlights look about him, then walked away, eyes glazed. 

    Outside Shana and Bekah had walked all the way back to the car without finding the elusive Nissan keys. They doubled back to ask all the restaurants they’d passed if anyone had brought a set inside. This also proved to be futile. 

    At one point Bekah hissed at Shana, “Look, there’s a set of Nissan keys on that guys table! Let’s get grab those!” Shana laughed. Clearly Bekah was making a ridiculous suggestion for comedic effect. Bekah did not laugh and again whispered, “He’s not paying attention, I think we could be out of the restaurant before he knew what happened.” Realizing Rebekah was not joking, and that she had somewhat of a crazy glint in her eye, Shana grabbed her, and they turned again in the direction of El Marvin.    

    Things were not going well there either. Everyone had left the table and was milling about the restaurant, talking, etc.. The waiter returned from the back, and cautiously approached Shari.

    “No one paid for this meal.”

    Shari sighed deeply, “Yes, you were supposed to use that card for both of these.”

    “Oh. No one told me that.” I glanced at Shari.  We had both been there and heard her explain it ten minutes earlier. 

    Judy, Juli Shari, and I gathered in the entrance in front of the open doors to compare notes. Judy was describing to us the unholy state of the kitchen and Shari, the inadequacy of the waiter when I felt Nikki stiffen in my arms. 

    “Guys, I think she’s scared!” I had barely gotten the words out when I felt something warm cover my hands at the same moment I heard a “splat!” It was apparent that Nikki’s young stomach was not prepared for Mexican queso, and her diaper was not up for the task of containing the consequences. 

    Juli was a blur leaving the restaurant.     

    Judy dissolved into a cackling maniac. 

    I was frozen as I stared at the substance covering my hands. I wondered in a detached way when it would sink in that my hands were covered in feces. “Shari. Take the child.” I said coldly. 

    Shari took the child. 

    The waiter had heard, seen, or smelled the catastrophe and he appeared with a wet rag. Judy took it from him and started wiping off my hands, her laughter showed no signs of slowing. I looked outside where I saw an innocent couple, witnesses to everything,  also laughing. Never before have I formed such a distaste for total strangers. 

     Large, skittish eyes peered around the door- Juli. I made no attempt to summon her, knowing from our shared history she was not a great help in time of catastrophe. Our teacher got hit in the face with a line drive when we were in school and while fleeing to the dugout (I thought I should be father away to assess the situation so I’d know how better to help) Juli shoved past me and hid in the very corner I had picked out. Needless to say I knew she would not be showing her face until all bodily debris was cleaned away.

I went to the restroom and scrubbed off the first second and third layers of skin. Satisfied that I could again handle being close to me I ventured back into the field. 

    By this time, Judy had finished cleaning the floor and tried to give the soiled rag back to the waiter. Horror swept his face. He backed up quickly and pointed to nearby trashcan. Judy laughed harder. 

    Shana and Bekah returned and by now Shana had left Nervous and fully crossed over into Frantic. “GUYS! HELP!”

    We spread out over the restaurant, searching under tables and honestly every other corner.  Turns out, the seat covers of the bench lifted off to reveal storage underneath. We thought the keys could have fallen back and into that area. I was busy rummaging through the Christmas decor when I heard a gasp over by the front door.  I looked and beheld Shana holding The Keys. 

    “They were just here on the hostess table! I think she maybe wanted an attractive mini-van!” 

    We didn’t wait to tell the workers and the mob rushed towards the door. Several of us close to the back grabbed wallets and phones that our cronies had left behind in the mad dash to leave. It felt like if we turned back for anything we never be able to leave! 

    As we hurried down the sidewalk casting furtive glances back toward El Marvin, Judy gasped, “I don’t have my phone!” 

    “I’ve got it!” Juli called back. 

    “I don’t have my wallet!”

    “Here!” 

    We eventually reached our attractive minivan and piled inside. “Random question, but did anyone tip the guy?” No one had. Not that mattered; none of us ever planned to go near the place again.