Many different types of people may darken a sick person’s door. I’ve yet to meet someone with the same personality for both a regular day and visiting a loved one in the hospital. Something lurks in the sterile, fluorescent air that intensifies certain character traits and dims others. Below are just a few of the common characters that emerge.
The Phone Addict comes in two forms-one sits in the corner, shoulders slumped, eyes glued to the phone in their hand. These are checked out and unaware of their surroundings. The second is talking on the phone. “Yes, he seems to be feeling a little better.” Their eyes find the trapped patient. “He looks horrible, though.”
The Comedian bustles in, hiding their sadness and discomfort behind jokes and mild insults.
As quickly as the Comedian lightens the mood the Crier brings it crashing back down. These people mean no harm and generally have big hearts that can’t handle seeing loved ones suffer. Am I being kind to them because some say I am a crier? Perhaps, but I prefer to remain mysterious.
The Doctor has no degree but is proficient at Googling Symptoms. “Your cough indicates malaria. I think the doctor will give you antibiotics.” After the real Doctor diagnoses the patient with pneumonia he will say something like, “I knew it! I knew it was either that or malaria!”
“How are you dealing with this? Do you find yourself blaming God?” The Spiritual one wastes no time. “Are you ready to die?” Responses to this person vary. Some appreciate their concern. Sometimes things get awkward. If the Comedian is nearby they will invariably pipe up with an irreverent comment to make everyone laugh and diffuse the spiritual tension.Strangely enough this often makes everyone more open to having the deep discussion.
The One-Upper is blissfully unaware of how calloused they appear.“I once spent three weeks in the hospital and the doctors were baffled. They did forty-eight different tests and drew fifteen ounces of blood!”
The doctor is sure to get involved;“Oh I was sure you had Lyme’s Disease. I told my husband that before you even went to the hospital. I think if you would have rubbed oils on your lymph nodes you would have been cured.”
My personal favorite is the Terrified Visitor. Their skin turns pale and eyes contain total panic. They carry a spirit of despair into every hospital, every situation. They walk in to see their cancer-ridden loved one the same way they walk to see a healthy new nephew. They shatter spirits more quickly than any Crier could. When the Terrified is waiting to be picked up from the ick house they don’t meet their ride outside, they meet them at the end of a street. Two miles away.
There is one we never see, the Invisible Benefactor. You won’t see them near a hospital or sick house but they make their care known by sending heaps of bouquets.
Did I miss anyone? Of course. There are the nurses, the doctors, the patient, and I’m sure somewhere in the world someone with the perfect bedside manner. But, oddly enough, I don’t think that’s who the ill person wants. They want the people who love them to be there. Maybe try to tone down that personality flaw,, but visit them. Deliver the flowers yourself. Hold their hand. Maybe even voice the three most terrifying words, “I love you.”
Show up for them. Love them. Because they loved you. They prayed for you. They impacted your life in some way and you don’t know how long you both have on this earth to let them know.
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” Mae West
My Grandmas CaringBridge site>
https://www.caringbridge.org/site/f728737c-146e-3a7b-9087-d9717d60ff86
The Write Perspective 
Leave a comment